Happy birthday letter to my mummy

Dear Mum,

More than once in life we are often asked: 'Who's your idol? Who you want to become when you grow up?'. Who's yours, mum? We talked about so many things but strangely enough I've never asked you this or you've never told me. But mum, I want you to know that for me, it's you. You're my idol, the one I look up to and the kind of woman I want to become.

People find inspiration in all sort of people: singers, actors, businessmen or some people featured in newspapers for really great stuff that they did. For me, the inspiration is closer to home and my heart. It's always been you, mum. Over the years, you've taught me so many things.

I guess you try to be a role model but the fact is you are one in a very ironic sense. The first thing I've learnt from you is we- human do make mistakes, lots of mistake indeed. I've seen kids who believe their parents are right in everything and parents under the same illusion, hence, insisting their children on following their orders.  Not in our house mum, I've seen you committed so many mistakes in love, in business, in life that led you (sometimes me too) to sad situations, tears and pain.

But mistake's not all; it's about how you deal with consequences. You showed me that sometimes, mistakes are unavoidable; you just have to accept what you did, come up with a solution and move on. I think any woman would find it terrifying to find herself pregnant unexpectedly at 23, to go through more than one divorce, to be a single mum to 2 children, to build a business by herself. But you went through all this and taught me the most important thing in life: never give up. You were so brave to keep the baby- me and you've been working so hard ever since to give me and my sister the best you can. One business plan went wrong, fine, you'd come up with another one. One more man turned out to be a liar, fine too, that didn't stop you from believing the good one would come one day. I think the superwoman in real life isn't the one with supernatural abilities like in movies but one with courage to fight back time and time again, to forgive, to move on, to laugh and to love again no matter what life throws at you. You are my superwoman mum.

And certainly my superwoman taught me a thing or two about being a woman.You see girls these days in trendy jumpsuits but as far as I can remember, you were rocking  one back in the '90s. I must admit back then, I found it a little ridiculous and embarrassed to go out with a mum who was wearing red paisley jumpsuit, cropped hair and a bit too much make up. The other day I called you, you were complaining that you ran out of foundation and then you went on and on about how you love make up, that you'd wear make up still when you're 70 and women should be glam and take care of themselves all the time.It may sound funny but I've learnt that a woman is most happy when she lives for herself. Our Vietnamese society has so many rules  about how one, especially women should live but with you, all that norms don't matter. You do what you love and think right. You also emphasize that the most important thing for a woman is to be independent, both financially and mentally. You've brought me up without any kind of support from any man. It must be so hard for you as I certainly didn't make it any easier with my crazy teenager phase and the judgemental society we were living in. Do you know that you got the superwoman mentality in you as you often end up our phone calls by preaching me that being a woman, I should be able to earn money, make myself  look presentable, cook nice food, raise good kids and take care of my future husband (with of course, a warning that 99.999% of men will cheat lol)? I got the message mum, men or society don't define women, we carve our own lives.

It wasn't always smooth between me and you. We had our ups and downs, disagreements and fights. At certain points, we made each other cry more than laugh. But at the end of the day, I want you to know that I love you and so proud of my mummy. Sometimes, you talk about feeling guilty of not giving me and my sister a more 'normal' family but I can't thank you enough for your effort through the years and I am truly blessed to have such a super mum. Happy birthday mummy, stay fabulous as you are. And don't you worry about your little girl, I'm sure she learned a hell lot from you and surely dresses and does make up better than you. 

Lots of love, 

Your daughter. x